<html>
<head><meta name="robots" content="noindex, follow" />
<title>glossary</title>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
</head>

>body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" marginwidth="100" leftmargin="100">
<div align="center"> <!-- #BeginLibraryItem "/Library/nav.lbi" --><h1>/bikereadercom/contributors/sam/glossary.html</h1><table width="5%" border="0" cellspacing="5" cellpadding="5" align="center">
 <tr> 
 <td bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Home</font></td><td><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Humour</font></td><td><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Essays</font></td><td><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Travel</font></td><td><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Images</font></td></tr>
</table><!-- #EndLibraryItem --> 
 <pre> ;

</pre>
</div>
<p><font size="6" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><b>The Pedaller's A-Z</b></font><br>
 <font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3">A B 
 C D E F 
 G H I J 
 K L M N 
 O P Q R 
 S T U V 
 W X Y Z</font></p>
<p><img src="/static/bikereader.com-crookedbike.jpg" width="350" height="244" border="3"></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3" color="#6C18B0">ACTIVISM.</font><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> 
 Cycling with intent.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">AERO 
 TUCK.</font> Near-foetal posture adopted by racing cyclists in an attempt to 
 slipstream themselves. With some modification, also handy for plane crashes. 
 The invention of the aero bar, otherwise known as the 'rack', has been an indispensable 
 aid for practitioners, but those suffering from above-the-belt overhang may 
 require the fitting of a corset for this position to be even remotely feasible.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">AIR 
 BRAKING.</font> Your only option if conventional brakes fail. Merely <font color="#6C18B0">sit-up-and-beg</font> 
 and wait until you slow down naturally. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">ALLEN 
 KEY.</font> Pivotal invention in the evolution of the bicycle. Developed by 
 Ikea. Previously accessories could only be attached using a piece of stout rope, 
 or by forging them on, which is why early <font color="#6C18B0">bike stores</font> 
 were often staffed with former sailors and blacksmiths. With the introduction 
 of the allen key (and not dissimilar alan key) the cycle accessories market 
 was free to flourish, and stores could hire teenagers instead.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">ANKLING.</font> 
 In those lost days of innocence, this was what women did to attract suitors. 
 Now it simply describes an efficient technique of pedalling.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">BELL.</font> 
 What a bicycle uses to talk. Mystery writer Dorothy Sayers, in her book The 
 Nine Tailors, describes the gruesome end of a victim of too much ringing: fair 
 warning to governments which seek to make bells compulsory. Simply shouting 
 <font color="#6C18B0">Oi!,</font> on the other hand, is not known to have ever 
 killed anyone.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">BIKE 
 STORE.</font> Showroom, garage, shelter from the storm. Where many cyclists 
 choose to put their money instead of banks.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">BIRDY.</font> 
 High performance aluminium <font color="#6C18B0">folder</font>. Devotees salivate 
 over its German engineering and the simple fact that it isn't a <font color="#6C18B0">Brompton</font>. 
 Coincidentally the name of an allegorical novel by William Wharton, about a 
 boy who thinks he's a birdy (not the bike).</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">BONK, 
 THE.</font> Utter exhaustion experienced by a cyclist, typically after a ride 
 rather than in anticipation of it. Novices attempting the annual <font color="#6C18B0">London 
 to Brighton</font> extravaganza are often susceptible to the bonk upon mere 
 contemplation of going up the <font color="#6C18B0">hill</font> at Ditchling 
 Beacon, for example.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">BRAKE.</font> 
 A nod to Newton: objects in motion tend to stay in motion (see <font color="#6C18B0">doorstop</font> 
 entry for an alternate view). Shortly after bicycles were invented, manufacturers 
 were forced to develop and install devices to facilitate stopping, despite industry 
 objections that this was an intolerable infringement on the free market and 
 would ";Price bicycles beyond the reach of average consumers."; Makers 
 of shoe leather also complained bitterly, but the tide of history was against 
 them. Popular varieties today include disc and <font color="#6C18B0">V-brakes</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#000000"><img src="/static/bikereader.com-glosseryfolder.jpg" width="150" height="191" border="3" vspace="4" hspace="6" align="left"><font color="#6C18B0">BROMPTON.</font></font> 
 British-made <font color="#6C18B0">folder</font> popular with commuters. Now 
 almost numerous enough on urban streets to be passé;, it's delightfully 
 engineered: the exorbitantly priced optional folding pedal alone is a work of 
 art. Once upon a time the company rifled through the crayolla box to offer two 
 standard colours, red and black, though others were also available to those 
 who could prove need: goldenrod, royal blue, and an oddly reproachful ivory. 
 These days you never know what you're going to see next. Owning a Brompton is 
 a privilege, not a right, and potential buyers must pass the 15-second rule: 
 those unable to fold or unfold one in that time are gently steered elsewhere. 
 </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">BROOKS 
 SADDLE.</font> Constructed of hard leather, sometimes mistaken for <font color="#6C18B0">titanium</font>. 
 Must be broken in -- the rider, that is. Favoured by traditional cyclists who 
 traditionally forgo comfort for pain, which may account for the awful grimaces 
 you sometimes see on their faces. Not so bad once you go <font color="#6C18B0">numb</font>. 
 Recommended for male cyclists who wish to remain without issue. [Brooks veterans 
 may regard this entry as outrageous hyperbole, to which we respond: yeah, all 
 right, probably.]</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CADENCE.</font> 
 Crank rotations per minute as measured on a <font color="#6C18B0">cycling computer</font>; 
 in your head (good luck); or by a savant who also specialises in such things 
 as baseball statistics or counting spilled toothpicks. 65-85 rpm is a good average. 
 A cadence of less than 1 rpm is known as <font color="#6C18B0">freewheeling</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CELERIFERE</font>, 
 or Hobby-Horse. Prototypical bicycle of the 19th century, invented by a Frenchman. 
 It lacked pedals, <font color="#6C18B0">gears</font>, steering, and presumably 
 almost any motivation to take it out of the prototypical garage.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">COMMUTER 
 CHALLENGE.</font> An often spontaneous competition between otherwise mild-mannered 
 office-types. While there is no set distance or course, whoever is faster wins. 
 Ignoring red lights automatically invalidates, nay cheapens, any victory. Upon 
 finding themselves outclassed, participants wishing to <font color="#6C18B0">drop 
 out</font> may either stop and get a drink from their water bottle or turn onto 
 a side street until the threat has passed.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CRANK.</font> 
 For many motorists, any cyclist. Otherwise, the bar that connects the pedal 
 to the chainwheel. Like so much of life, it's all about leverage.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CRITICAL 
 MASS.</font> Business as usual on the roads, unless everyone happens to be on 
 bikes, at which point it becomes news. Generally described in the media as good 
 natured until a few bad apples start getting too in-your-face about it.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CRO-MOLY</font> 
 A steel alloy used in the manufacture of all bicycles not already made of aluminium, 
 <font color="#6C18B0">titanium</font>, carbon-fibre or rust.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CYCLE 
 LANE.</font> Separate but unequal facility constructed more out of guilt than 
 a sincere desire to be helpful. By law such lanes must end wherever they become 
 the slightest bit inconvenient to other road users. Often confused by motorists 
 as emergency parking for a quick nip into the shop.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CYCLING 
 CLUB.</font> A throwback to early hunter-gatherer groups. Enthusiasts band together 
 for safety and companionship, not to mention discounts, insurance, and a newsletter.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">CYCLING 
 COMPUTER.</font> Liquid crystal confirmation of... well, one's worth, if such 
 is needed. Indispensable for those involved in time trials. But remember GIGO: 
 that's computer speak for garbage in, garbage out.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">CYCLO-CROSS.</font> 
 Portage as sport.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">DA 
 VINCI, LEONARDO.</font> Supposed inventor of the bicycle, at least on paper. 
 It's less well known that he also had some theories on <font color="#6C18B0">lycra</font>, 
 which he planned to wear while piloting his flying machine. As usual he was 
 too far ahead of his time. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">DERAILLER.</font> 
 Technically speaking, the fiddliest part of a bike. Its job is to knock the 
 chain from one toothed wheel to another without any backtalk.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">DOORSTOP.</font> 
 A braking manoeuvre accomplished with the kind assistance of a <font color="#6C18B0">motorist</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">DRAFTING.</font> 
 The opposite of <font color="#6C18B0">air braking</font>. Letting somebody else 
 do the hard work of pushing all that air out of the way for you. Stokers (see 
 entry for <font color="#6C18B0">tandem</font>) normally do this without thinking 
 too much about it.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">DROP 
 OUTS.</font> See <font color="#6C18B0">commuter challenge</font>. Also, the 
 little metal fists that hold onto your wheels to keep them from rolling away.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">ELECTRIC 
 BIKE.</font> A bicycle with an identity crisis. Early models had to be plugged 
 in, which limited their range.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <img src="/static/bikereader.com-ctce2e.jpg" width="125" height="159" hspace="6" vspace="4" align="right"><font color="#6C18B0">END-TO-END.</font> 
 The bigger the country, the farther this will be. For the British, who fortunately 
 live on what an estate agent would call a 'cosy' island, this is the feat of 
 travelling from Land's End in Cornwall to John O'Groats near the northern tip 
 of Scotland. A because-it's-there endeavour particularly attractive to charity 
 riders, record-breakers, and the sort not otherwise given to wheeling, oh, a 
 bed, 847-odd miles. In the US this voyage is more imaginatively called the Coast-to-Coast, 
 but its citizens tend to leave the furniture at home.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">EXERCISE 
 BIKE.</font> Clothes hanger marketed as an aid to fitness. In this respect, 
 a <font color="#6C18B0">hybrid</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">FOOD.</font> 
 To someone whose legs are their engine, practically any carbohydrate. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">FOLDER.</font> 
 The end result of the marginalisation of the bicycle: one designed to stay out 
 of everybody's way. A bike that's capable of doing its own <font color="#6C18B0">aero 
 tuck</font>. Also the name of a magazine for aficionados. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">FRANCE.</font> 
 A french-speaking country in close proximity to Britain. Originator and host 
 of the famous <font color="#6C18B0">'Tour de France'</font>, in which an international 
 contingent of cyclists race at top speed for thousands of miles over often torturous 
 mountain roads to win the adulation of millions, all whilst religiously forgoing 
 the use of artificial stimulants.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0"> 
 FREEWHEELING.</font> As good a reason for cycling as any. Not exactly the something-for-nothing 
 its name implies, freewheeling, whether borne from momentum or a fortuitous 
 start at the top of a hill, is the birthright of all cyclists, not just those 
 who voted New Labour.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">GEAR.</font> 
 The mechanical system which allows power to be transmitted from the pedals to 
 the back wheel. Most bikes these days have at least 21, because any less and 
 people feel empty and cheated.</font></font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">GEAR 
 RATIO.</font> Mathematical formula CT / ST x WD, whereby CT = Chain Teeth, ST 
 = Sprocket teeth, WD = Wheel Diameter. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">GORE 
 RATIO.</font> Financial formula, G=�, or in the US, $. </font></p>
<p><img src="/static/bikereader.com-gorehat.jpg" width="225" height="171" border="3" hspace="6" align="left" vspace="4" alt="photo courtesy Therese Munn"><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3" color="#6C18B0">GORE-TEX.</font><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> 
 Miracle waterproof fabric, ingeniously designed with millions of tiny holes 
 which help combat overheating. Unfortunately for the fashion conscious, it's 
 only activated when the manufacturer's trade name is splashed conspicuously 
 across the garment.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">HAND 
 SIGNAL.</font> The art of taking one hand off the handlebars, pointing which 
 way you intend to turn, then changing your mind and going straight anyway -- 
 all while not falling off.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">HANDLEBARS.</font> 
 Come in three varieties: straight, curly, and confused. Those who are shakily 
 new to the two-wheeled world tend to grip them very tightly; six months down 
 the road they may seldom deign to touch them at all.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">HELMET.</font> 
 Use(ful)(less) augmentation to the skull. Typically, a hard outer shell bonded 
 to a layer of crushable polystyrene. The bird of prey look predominates at the 
 high end, the bowl look, lower down. The more holes the better, for rider comfort 
 and manufacturer profit. Designers are reportedly working on a model which simply 
 consists of a strap and a sheet of instructions saying 'Be careful, now'. Usually 
 Snell- BS-, or bicycle store clerk- approved.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">HILL.</font> 
 Nearly impossible to describe, as individual definitions vary so widely, but 
 you'll know it when you see it. Some go up. Other, more popular ones, go down. 
 Do not panic when you see the 'up' variety. Instead, carefully assess the gradient, 
 mentally flip through your available gears to find its equal, then dismount 
 and enjoy your ability to become an instant <font color="#6C18B0">pedestrian</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">HONKING.</font> 
 Standing whilst riding, thus allowing your weight to drive down the pedals. 
 The only way some cyclists can make it up <font color="#6C18B0">hills</font>. 
 When done properly, not meant to be onomatopoeic.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">HPV.</font> 
 Acronym for Human Powered Vehicle. All bikes are HPVs, but not all HPVs are 
 bikes. Similarly, all apples are fruits, but not all fruits are apples. HPVs 
 include anything that looks like an attempt to build a better mousetrap. Owners 
 are statistically more likely to be vegans and sprout provocative facial hair. 
 </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">HYBRID.</font> 
 Cross between a road bike and a mountain bike, proved feasible after experimental 
 work completed by 19th century Austrian monk Gregor Mendel, who had little inkling 
 that by fooling around with peas he was influencing bicycle design. Other less 
 successful hybrids include a mountain <font color="#6C18B0">unicycle</font> 
 and a <font color="#6C18B0">recumbent</font> <font color="#000000">penny-farthing.</font></font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3" color="#6C18B0">IDITABIKE 
 RACE.</font><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> Gruelling competition, 
 based on the Iditarod, which takes place in Alaska every February. Contestants 
 haul refrigerators behind their <font color="#6C18B0">mountain bikes</font> 
 and race from one Inuit village to another attempting to sell them to the Eskimos. 
 </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">INTEGRATED 
 TRANSPORT POLICY.</font> Formal acknowledgement that although it's theoretically 
 possible that cars can fill every available square inch, it isn't actually desirable.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">JERSEY.</font> 
 Ubiquitous article of clothing in a cyclist's wardrobe. Yellow is a popular 
 colour, perhaps in homage to the sun-god 'Ra'. In other contexts, an island 
 or possibly a cow.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">JOSIE 
 DEW.</font> a) Improbably b) Delightfully c) Legally -named cycling writer of 
 the finest globe-trotting, book-writing British tradition. Patron saint of bananas 
 and bad hair days.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">KEVLAR.</font> 
 A tough material sometimes used in bicycle tyres to guard against punctures, 
 and in bullet-proof vests for the same reason. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">KICKSTAND.</font> 
 Discredited Olympic sport whose only known current practitioners are Rockettes. 
 Also, discredited bicycle component best known for instilling a false sense 
 of security. In this capacity, responsible for more scratched paint jobs and 
 bent derailleurs than any other force known to mankind.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">KINGCYCLE.</font> 
 Brand of <font color="#6C18B0">recumbent</font> once marketed to royalty. The 
 Queencycle never took off, as she was not amused.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">LEG 
 SHAVING.</font> Activity for people who feel that all those tiny hairs simply 
 produce too much drag and absolutely must be removed. True believers are also 
 prone to shave frivolous weight from their bicycles by poking holes in things 
 like brake levers, which are notoriously heavy. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#000000"><font color="#6C18B0">LOCK.</font></font> 
 A prophylactic to the redistribution of wealth. Come in many varieties, some 
 useless, others merely hopelessly pathetic, but the better models have been 
 known to deter thieves who have particularly short attention spans. Often ineffectual 
 due to simple user error, particularly so when the cable is locked to something 
 sturdy, like a street sign post, but the bicycle itself is left out of the loop. 
 Cyclists should take care to lock the frame itself rather than just the tyre, 
 lest they return to find an ungainly <font color="#6C18B0">unicycle</font>. 
 </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">LONDON-TO-BRIGHTON. 
 </font>Annual pilgrimage between capital and coast. Contestants are picked by 
 lottery and strictly limited to 27,000 or so. The infamous <font color="#6C18B0">hill</font> 
 at Ditchling Beacon serves as an unofficial killjoy, though renaming this the 
 'Brighton-to-London' might alleviate matters.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">LYCRA.</font> 
 Showcase for muscle tone, for better or for worse. A Tomorrow's World kind of 
 invention which actually made it into the real world.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">MAINTENANCE.</font> 
 Alternately spelled m@!nt*n!ce. Looking after your bike so it will look after 
 you.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0"> 
 <font color="#000000"><img src="/static/bikereader.com-messenger.jpg" width="173" height="217" align="right" border="3"><font color="#6C18B0">MESSENGER</font></font></font><font color="#6C18B0">,</font> 
 or courier. In temperament and habit, a cabbie with Green credentials who specialises 
 in packages rather than passengers.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">MOTORIST.</font> 
 Considered by many to be an intermediate stop in the ethical evolution of anyone 
 who needs to get from A to B. The alter-ego of many a cyclist, though, so one 
 treads carefully. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">MOULTON.</font> 
 A marque. Incidentally, a bike. Fully suspended and proud of it, and that's 
 just the good doctor.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">MOUNTAIN 
 BIKE.</font> A type of bicycle which breaks down more often than other types.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">NI-CAD.</font> 
 Shorthand for Nickel-Cadmium batteries, often used to power<font color="#6C18B0"> 
 electric bicycles</font>. Environmentally wicked, but hyphenization has made 
 this into a nippy and almost fun word.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">NUMB.</font> 
 Lack of sensation liable to be present in the hands if you forget to vary your 
 hand positions; at the crux of your pelvis if you are accustoming yourself to 
 a <font color="#6C18B0">Brooks saddle</font>; in your feet and legs if you are 
 accustoming yourself to a Brooks saddle and depressing the nerves which supply 
 feeling to that half of your body; or your head if you decide to enter yourself 
 in an <font color="#6C18B0">Iditarace</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">OFF-ROAD.</font> 
 Motorists' preferred venue for cyclists.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">OI!.</font> 
 Time-honoured warning to <font color="#6C18B0">pedestrians</font> to move out 
 of harm's way. Predates the <font color="#6C18B0">bell</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">ORDINARY.</font> 
 Early type of bicycle which utilised a very large front wheel. Also called a 
 'penny-farthing', because this was the size of the rear wheel. This setup may 
 have seemed ordinary at the time, but strikes the modern eye as quaintly mad.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">PANNIERS.</font> 
 Bags which have been modified to be attached to a bicycle for the purpose of 
 carrying approximately 50% more than you need. Similar to a purse. When shopping, 
 look for panniers with a large capacity and don't buy them, as they just make 
 your bicycle heavier. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">PEDESTRIAN.</font> 
 Commonly, a person forcibly prevented from using a motor vehicle. Frequently 
 at odds with the cycling community over territorial rights, pedestrians clump 
 together to produce their own traffic jams, and often don't look where they're 
 going; behaviours retained when they re-enter their cars.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">PELETON.</font> 
 <font color="#6C18B0">Critical Mass</font> in a sporting context. Nobody in 
 charge here, either.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#000000"><img src="/static/bikereader.com-zap.jpg" width="150" height="188" align="left" vspace="4" hspace="6" border="3"><font color="#6C18B0">POWER-ASSIST.</font></font> 
 On a <font color="#6C18B0">tandem</font>, a really good stoker. Otherwise, a 
 variety of bicycle (PAHPV?) fitted with a battery or a petrol tank and the means 
 to either assist or impede locomotion depending on how much horsepower you yourself 
 bring to the relationship. To many unsympathetic and frequently vocal onlookers, 
 such <font color="#6C18B0">hybrids</font> are a form of cheating.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">PUNCTURE.</font> 
 Unauthorised, impromptu, sloppy tyre valve.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">QUADRACYCLE.</font> 
 A bike with four wheels, for those who have serious issues with balance. Can 
 serve as a kind of methadone for automobile addicts too frightened to go cold 
 turkey.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">QUICK-RELEASE.</font> 
 Levers often found on bicycles which allow seats and wheels to be removed without 
 a spanner. We await the quick-release flat tyre. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">RECUMBENT.</font> 
 Alternative for riders whose preference is to meet the oncoming world feet first 
 rather than head first. Some models are so comfortable they come with built-in 
 ashtrays.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">REYNOLDS 
 531.</font> An illustrious member of that famous clan. Ackroyd's masterful biography, 
 Reynolds I Have Known, gives a complete family history, with particular insight 
 into 653 and 853, and a chapter on the black sheep of the family, 708.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">RIM.</font> 
 Mediator between tyre and <font color="#6C18B0">spokes</font>, doormat to <font color="#6C18B0">brakes</font>. 
 A good rim will take everything you throw at it with little complaint for thousands 
 of miles of pleasurable cycling. A bad rim will buckle just because you wanted 
 to go over a kerb, for God's sake.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">ROAD 
 RAGE.</font> A psychological phenomena which primarily infects motorists feeling 
 territorial. Cyclists are also susceptible, though it has been conclusively 
 proven that a tyre pump is significantly less dangerous than a Ford Mondeo when 
 wielded in anger.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">SADDLE.</font> 
 Mediator between seatpost and seat (yours). They come in many, many shapes, 
 but suffice it to say, there is only One True Saddle for you out there in the 
 whole world, and chances are you just aren't going to find it.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">SCHRAEDER.</font> 
 A type of tyre valve almost as popular nowadays as a <font color="#6C18B0">puncture</font>. 
 </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">SINGLE 
 SPEED.</font> An everything-old-is-new-again approach to cycling in which all 
 the <font color="#6C18B0">gears</font> we've fought so hard for over the years 
 are eschewed for -- wait for it -- a single speed. When combined with the fixed-gear 
 option (no <font color="#6C18B0">freewheeling</font> allowed), said to wed cyclist 
 to the road like no other natural relationship, but do not under any circumstances 
 remove feet from pedals while going downhill or divorce à; la the </font><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3">'eggbeater 
 effect' can get ugly. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">SIT-UP-AND-BEG.</font> 
 A position in the Kama Sutra. Also, charming derogatory slang for what is often 
 the most comfortable posture for beginning cyclists, namely, with the back in 
 an unstunted position. Can be a balm for too many hours bent in an <font color="#6C18B0">aero 
 tuck</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">SPOKE.</font> 
 An integral stanza in the poem that is a bicycle. Proof positive that there's 
 strength in numbers, which should come as a relief to those embarking upon a 
 spin in the London ferris wheel (sorry: the British Airways London Eye). </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">STEED.</font> 
 Mandatory synonym for 'bicycle'.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">STILL 
 LIFE WITH BICYCLE.</font> At a red traffic light, the familiar site of a mounted 
 cyclist attempting to combine not pedalling and not moving with not falling 
 down. Not to be confused with <font color="#6C18B0">freewheeling</font>. Experts 
 are able to achieve this near-miraculous state of equilibrium by entering a 
 transcendental state achieved by close study of eastern philosophies combined 
 with a damn good sense of balance. More commonly known as a 'track stand' -- 
 don't go into a<font color="#6C18B0"> bike store</font> and ask for one.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">SUSPENSION.</font> 
 On most older and cheaper bikes, knees. On newer bikes, mechanical contrivances 
 which cost a lot more than knees. See <font color="#6C18B0">Moulton</font>.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">TANDEM.</font> 
 An attempt to balance two riders on two wheels for curiosity's sake. Promotes 
 togetherness and teamwork: all for one and one for all. The one in front is 
 called the Captain, and the one in back, the Stoker, because everyone needs 
 to be called something. Working in harmony, they form a pas de deux. However, 
 motorists in a spasm of <font color="#6C18B0">road rage</font> may merely regard 
 them as a two-for-one special.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">TIME-TRIAL.</font> 
 A race against yourself, but ultimately, against other people who are also racing 
 against themselves. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">TITANIUM.</font> 
 A metallic element (Ti, no. 22 on the periodic table) found in ilmenite, sphene, 
 rutile, and increasingly in bicycle frames and components. To continue this 
 largely Chamber's Dictionary definition: strong, light, corrosion resistant, 
 and almost but not quite as expensive as<font color="#6C18B0"> Gore-Tex</font> 
 (Gt, no. 79 1/2 on the same table).</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#000000"><font color="#6C18B0">TOE 
 STRAP.</font></font><font color="#6C18B0"> </font>Useful for holding in place 
 the feet of initiates who are fearful of learning how to ride. Once strapped 
 in they have little choice, no?</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">TOUR.</font> 
 A vacation, a bike, and the aftermath, which may consist of a slide show or 
 possibly an article in a family newsletter or a bike magazine.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">TOUR 
 DE FRANCE.</font> Annual competition which takes place in <font color="#6C18B0">France</font>. 
 The winner gets to wear a yellow <font color="#6C18B0">jersey</font> unless 
 he's just good at <font color="#6C18B0">hills</font>, in which case it's polka-dotted.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">U-LOCK.</font> 
 Metal shackle. Thought by some etymologists to be named after its shape, though 
 others prefer the homonymic theory -- 'you lock'.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><img src="/static/bikereader.com-unicyclingandy2.jpg" width="163" height="250" vspace="4" hspace="6" border="3" align="left" alt="photo (c) Gerard Brown"></font> 
 <font color="#6C18B0">UNICYCLE.</font> See first sentence of entry for <font color="#6C18B0">tandem</font> 
 and cut in half. A bike for minimalists. Favoured by circus personnel. Users 
 often fall prey to a Napoleon complex, opting for taller and taller models as 
 the disease progresses.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">UTILITY 
 BICYCLE.</font> What your current bike becomes as soon as you buy a new one.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">V-BRAKES.</font> 
 Very good <font color="#6C18B0">brakes</font>. Unlike U-locks, V-brakes don't 
 particularly resemble the letter 'V'. In fact, they look more like a 'U'. This 
 can be very confusing for those who thought they detected the beginnings of 
 a pattern in cycle nomenclature.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">VELOCIPEDE.</font> 
 A Celerifere with <font color="#6C18B0">cranks</font> and pedals. Evolution 
 is undoubtedly more fun to read about than it is to live through.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">WASH.</font> 
 As in, to 'wash' your bicycle. A difficult concept for many owners to master, 
 washing can be put off almost indefinitely. Some prefer to just buy a new bike.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">WATER.</font> 
 The stuff of life, of which you are always being informed you should be drinking 
 maybe four times your body weight daily, more if exercising. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font color="#6C18B0">WHEELBASE.</font> 
 The shortest distance between two axles on the same bicycle in a Euclidean universe. 
 Standard advice is that long wheelbase models are ideal for <font color="#6C18B0">touring</font>, 
 because of the extra stability they impart. A <font color="#6C18B0">unicycle</font> 
 has no measurable wheelbase, ergo it is not recommended for touring.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">XERXES.</font> 
 Persian king responsible for the defeat of the Greeks at Thermopylae. A seminal 
 figure in cycling history only in the very broadest sense.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0"><font color="#000000"><img src="/static/bikereader.com-yellowjersey.jpg" width="150" height="320" border="3" align="right"></font> 
 YELLOW JERSEY.</font> What the winner of the<font color="#6C18B0"> Tour de France</font> 
 gets to wear. Some shops sell them, too.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">YELLOW 
 LIGHT.</font> Chosen by traffic engineers to signify an indeterminate state, 
 neither 'stop' (red) nor 'go' (green, or for some road users, also red). Interested 
 parties may find parallels with the physicist's conundrum of Schroedinger's 
 Cat, whereby the act of merely observing the creature in a box determines whether 
 it is dead or alive: by staring at a yellow light, are you influencing its very 
 existence?</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">ZEBRA 
 CROSSING.</font> Theoretically, a safety zone for <font color="#6C18B0">pedestrians</font> 
 and pedestrainised cyclists crossing the road. In practice, a terrifying no-man's 
 land whose inhabitants often cheerlessly wave to <font color="#6C18B0">motorists</font> 
 as a token of gratitude and relief for being permitted to reach the farther 
 shore.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"> <font color="#6C18B0">ZENER 
 DIODE.</font> A voltage regulator. Included in this glossary to help fill the 
 'z' requirement, and legitimised by its inclusion in Richard Ballantine's Ultimate 
 Bicycle Book, listed there for the same purpose.</font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif"><i>©; Sam Walker 1999, 
 2000</i></font> <br>
</p>
<div align="left"> <br>
</div>
<p align="center"><font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">TOP 
 OF PAGE</font></font></p>
<font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3"></font>